Because fairytales, they don't exist.

Beginning of the end.

After 45 months of temporary happiness, then the subsequent hardships, struggles and disappointments, I finally picked up the courage to call it quits.

I have never expected things to end this way. I had always hoped for a fairytale ending. Well, it remains just as that: happily ever afters only exists in fairytales, stories that we hear of when we were young, like Cinderella finally married her prince after being subjected to abuse by her stepsisters.

Probably just in time before 2014 starts, to keep the past buried and to look forward to a brand new beginning, to a brand new start of a new future, for myself, for my family. Nothing else matters than having my loved ones by my side, supporting my decision and praying for what's best for myself.

I have friends who made me realized what I have achieved so far, for myself. At 24, I have a stable career, I settle my own debts, I am supporting my parents, upgraded from a small cc bike to a big one, and that for whatever I had, I definitely deserved much better treatment. Probably a feat that may be far from achievable for someone who i shall not name, for it wasn't worth any mentioning at all. Whatever that I have achieved or done other than what's listed here, it's just not for public's eyes. Friends come to me asking: "How do you garner all the patience to tolerate what has been done to you?"

The answer was simple. I remained positive. I had remained optimistic for sooo long even through all the disappointments, hurt, lies, that somehow things will change for the better. But the term "changing for the better" itself has become so cliche, at least in my dictionary.

Nothing hurts more than being kept in the dark for sooo long, and then you see the truth unfold, one by one. Maybe one day, he shall meet someone who has the exact traits as him, in the form of his girlfriend. Then he'll know how it feels like to deal with a compulsive liar, to deal with someone who prefers to think not further than the day after, to deal with someone waiting for miracles to happen without any effort made.

The only thing i learnt from this time wasting ordeal was patience and to keep my mouth shut.

I don't see a point in putting the blame for the type of friends I have. Sure enough, the friends I have now clubs, drinks, probably seen as social thrash at first glance. But think. What is he compared to the friends I have? I can rebutt your point by claiming that at least they deserved their enjoyment because they worked hard for it. I am not the least influenced by them because at one point of time, I was exactly just like them, I mellowed down because I started to become a workaholic and spent lesser time with the people I refer to as "my mates".

Enough is enough. I'm raising the white flag now because nothing seems to change even though someone claims to be trying hard to be that better person. Actions speak louder than words. Do you have a split personality or something? I wonder.

It's okay. I've wasted close to 4 years of my life for something (I meant, someone) that's not worth my efforts. I'm not going to waste more days, months or years living my life in constant misery, putting myself through more insecurity thinking if I had it all covered in case something goes awry in a few years time, because someone has his vision restricted to the day after and nothing more.

About 1.5 hours to end of shift.
6 days till 2014.

Looking forward to a new beginning.
Go out, socialize, make new friends. But I'm afraid, afraid that the people I meet after this, are just as cunning, deceiving and deceitful bunch of a motherfucking scumbag.

Intim Gel by Jamu Susuk Dara

 

I am making this effort to try and translate any information I have into english, sharing the benefits of the products by Jamu Susuk Dara outside the Malay Community.

 

I have shared the benefits of Masker Vagina few months back, and today, I am sharing with you another product by JSD, Intim Gel.

 

Intim Gel, as the name states, can be seen as a lubricant, or a remedy to women who, pardon my language, feels less horny when it comes to under-the-blanket exercises with their partner.

 

What does Intim Gel do?

* It kills germs/bacteria in the vagina which causes white discharge. Also helps to elimitate itchiness of the vagina (let's call it Miss V, to be less crude), activates the sensitivity of the walls of Miss V, and eliminates the germs that is caused by improper hygiene after urinating

 

Who is Intim Gel for?

* Suitable for busy working women who are less educated about taking proper care and hygiene of their private areas

* Women who are less sexually attracted to have sexual intercourse with their husby.

 

When is the right time to use Intim Gel?

* Intim Gel can be used on a daily basis to maintain the cleanliness of your privates

 

What will a first time user of Intim Gel experience?

1. Miss V will feel cool. 1-2 hours later, you will feel wet, like having water flowing down your Miss V, literally. (Pantyliners adviced to prevent undies from getting soaked!)

2. You will feel uncomfortable. This is only because of the water that's flowing out Miss V.

3. You'll need to clean Miss V. Once again, apply Intim Gel to Miss V. (Some users may experience some itchiness, this is due to their Miss V already having a serious case of white discharge.)

4. After 2-3 days, Miss V will no longer feel wet.

 

What are the benefits of using Intim Gel frequenly?

* Makes you feel comfortable. You will no longer have any unpleasant discharge or odour, you'll feel cool (because of Intim Gel), dry, and Miss V will feel tight.

 

~ Are you imagining how your husby will react after you use Intim Gel?

~ Are you imagining your husby moaning "ahhh ... so tight" when having sexual intercourse?

~ Do you want to improve your experience in bed with your husby?

~ Do you want your "private night life" to be just like the first day you had it: tight and sensitive?

 

Interested to get your hands on Intim Gel?

I have it! Intim Gel is $28 for a 15mL tube. It's small size allows you to store it in your vanity bag, ready for you to use wherever you go!

Contact me at +65 96345444 to order. Whatsapp or SMS only.

Yippee!

I am really going to Australia in 30 days time!

Food is really an issue for me, I only look out for halal food if possible.

It has been 13 years since i last went there, and I wonder if things have rapidly changed. Well, i was only 11 when i went there, so hopefully this time round i'll carry back with me even better memories of my trip to Aussie!

Oh, I'm going to Gold Coast by the way. but because the boss was being such a bitch and giving all sorts of excuses just to approve my leave, I had to make do with just a 6D4N trip. I would loooove to stay for longer periods but unfortunately time doesn't permits. If i had gotten my 4 days leave, i could have stayed there for a good 11D9N in Aussie ok! that much of a difference 4 days and 2 days leave could do to you!

It's 0410H and i'm not yet sleeping because i'm just too fickle when it comes to choosing hotels. Not sure if i should pick hotel or apartment, alot of extreme reviews on tripadvisor it freaks me out. Well of course if i could find something cheaper and worth it i would pick that over anything but ... let's just say i'm paranoid of dirt ok?

When it comes to food, i hope i won't need to settle with indian food whilst i'm there. But i'm pretty sure that finding food there will be easier as compared to HK right? ANYWAAAAY, Nando's and Krispy Kreme is halal there! I remembered i used to eat at this halal eatery that served chinese dishes. It was there when i visited Aussie in 1997 and it was still there in 2000.

Eh, recalling back on the years, i feel old!

Okay i shall sleep else i will be wide awake later in the afternoon which is bad because i have overtime at night.

What happened?

Perhaps to some people out there, I'm just this insensitive, self-centered bitch who only cares about herself and doesn't spare a single thought for others.

I ought to fight for what i deserve, for what i deem shall make my life better.

We were so happy back then, what happened?

Along the way we get caught up with commitments, I got selfish, I had always wanted things go my way. But nothing, nothing at all went my way. Yeap, someone is only trying to follow what i suggested but it all backfired. Not sure if not enough effort was put in, or things were just not meant to be.

To majority, I'm the one who's seen as a bully to him. To majority, I'm the one who isn't treating him right. To majority, I'm the one who's always mean and selfish with my words.

But to majority, they didn't know what i went through. To majority, they didn't know what i had done for him. To majority, they didn't know the effort i put in to help him upskill himself.

If i was impatient, too too impatient, I would have did what i did now long time back. Why would i bother waiting until after the engagement only to start having close guy friends to confide in? There's a reason why i became this way, there's a reason why i stopped believing in something positive to arise or to expect that small shimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

I gave chances after chances for you to make your own life better, for you to prove yourself hardworking enough and to prove yourself as someone who could be responsible enough for me to rely on. On the other hand, you expected me to change but you didn't stress on what i should rectify of myself.

True, I have an uncontrollable temper and I say words that could slice you mentally, but even when i mellowed down, the change in you isn't noticeable. That's when i started to be unfaithful. But I didn't cheat, I merely got close to a guy friend, nothing more than that.

I would be lying if i were to say you mean nothing to me, because once upon a time in my life, you were everything i ever wanted despite your flaws. I believed time will change things and make our lives better, but all i ever wonder now is if time will change things but brings nothing but misery to the both of us.

I just hope and pray that someday you'll realize my intentions meant good and you'll try your utmost best to change, work hard and be the man you'll want to be to provide for the people whom matter to you most.

I'm sorry i'm not good enough. Because if i were, you'd realize and change for the better right at the first few stops where i fell.