I happen to be in a phase whereby I'm just comfortable being just on my own, alone, doing my own stuffs, minding my own business. I don't even bother step out of the house unless it's for work, because I'm just comfortable like that. I can stay home all day watching my korean dramas, playing games, and catching up on my much needed sleep... or not really. I don't and I can't really sleep well unless I had a very busy shift.
As time passes by I find it meaningless to elaborate to people as to what happened to my engagement, I'm still finding that reason as to WHY I can't move the fuck on after 8 months of leaving that ex for good. It's like "come on you left him all the more you shouldn't be the least affected in losing someone that's truly not worth your effort and time!"
Yeah Yeah. I know. It's much easier said than done. Why I find it hard to move on, I don't even know. To counter that feeling I just confine myself and push people away. Not that I locked myself up at home totally on my off days, I do still go out with the gixxers and all, but that's that.
I have friends who tried to lure me out of my so called solitude, but they've all failed ...
I lost my grandfather recently, last week to be exact, it only reminded me of how short life is. I had to do something. I had to get out of everything, whatever that's bothering me. Perhaps I should just take that little step and open up to the world, not literally though.
Not sure if this happiness is temporary, but surely, deep inside I'm still scarred, I'm still scared.
No one wants a history they don't wish to remember, repeat.
