It's been almost 3 months since i last blogged. Alot had happened over the past few weeks.
Firstly, I'm officially single. *hooray*? NOT.
I'm still struggling with the fact that someone whom you rooted so much for, isn't even fighting. But it's for the best, for myself especially. I'll know better than to host a parasite who's going to be the death of me.
Had quite a talk with my friend when i came for overtime. What she said made enough sense, that yeap, it's like i didn't even know the person i supposedly want to get married to. Lies after lies, and i still stick with him through all the nonsense he had me cleared. I wonder how i got all my energy from, to put up with all of what i went through. I wonder how i garnered all the optimism, believing that he'll change.
One thing i've learnt is that, a leopard never changes its spots. Especially that of a compulsive liar.
I'm meeting new people, going out with friends, but one thing for sure, i doubt i'll let myself into another relationship so soon. I still feel sour over everything, but I've come to terms with reality and finally stopped beating myself up over whatever happened and whatever that didn't go my way. Technically, with sincere effort, all these could have been accomplished.
But indeed, actions speaks louder than words.
I know, I know that things will never be easy. I'm sailing through rough seas so to speak, but then I didn't expect things just gets harder and harder along the way, so hard that I can't even see things getting easier.
And even after the official engagement breakup, i'm still finding out things that was kept hidden away from me for much too long. It's not worth any sacrifice and effort.
If there's one thing i regret, I regret putting so much effort and wasting so much time, when I could have used all that energy into something else much more beneficial.
Is it just that hard to be honest? To realize that I don't deserve everything I got?
I really hope you regret all your fucking life. I really do.
