Wedding of the year, meh?

So there was this blog post being shared on FB, basically about how some girl DIY-ed her wedding dress, her dais and such, and how she spent minimal amount of money for her wedding.

Well, thing is, her wedding is on 350 pax! Of course, logically, her wedding would cost much less.

Initially I was quite shocked when she quoted her wedding cards to be about $100 (or was it less?), and I thought to myself, "damn, what a good deal she got!" Oh, and her wedding favours too. Baca punya baca, check2, yek eleh, jemputan 350 pax je.

No idea if hers was a combined or separate wedding. I skipped few parts because I kinda kept rolling my eyes as i scrolled down her post (roll eyes but still read. lol~ curiosity at it's best). Well, here's my honest take on her blog post. And because I'm lazy, I shall just command+C and command+V the post I made on facebook. lolx

"Tbh I can't really stand these kind of brides who talk down on the majority of the weddings just because other brides spent ALOT on their weddings and then go broke. And these brides will keep on going "who needs this/that". If you want to compare, compare apple with an apple not an apple with a grape.

Of course you could get your wedding cards n doorgifts for much less because your wedding is only 350 pax. Ouh and you sew your bridal clothes yourself and partial DIY-ed your deco well good for you. Not everyone is as blessed to have family links with wedding vendors.

And the part about spending lavishly on a one day event then go broke, well honey isn't that the NORM for us Malays? Not only wedding la. Typical people will always be willing to spend as long as it's the in thing. In short, biar papa asal bergaya.

Using used papers to make into paper "banks" lol you could have just used your used envelops I'm sure you receive bills in the mail (unless you really don't pay bills la).

I'm not a believer in taking loans just to "justify" a day of grandeur as we sit and watch people eat, force ourselves to smile for photos the whole day. As a fellow BTB i think it's better that instead of talking down on others, we help others in money saving tips or what can be done to reduce costs of wedding expenditures. Blogs like that are quite rare to find. But then again to each his/her own. Not everyone who brags about their grand wedding has their wedding costs sponsored."

Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating her post or what so ever, I just dislike the "stand" she makes. Hey, everyone has their own wedding ideas and dreams, some people don't even have their own say for their wedding, everything must follow what other people wants. I'm one of them but I'm gona rebel rebel rebel!

It's good that she has her close knit of friends and family members to help her DIY her wedding venue. As for me, I don't have much close friends and those I have, I don't think I would want to trouble them to do this and that. And for sure, I do not have any close links to any wedding vendors. SOoo... yea. And do you know that you need an entertainment license to have sound system/DJ? The authorities may just give you a surprise visit, ask you to provide your license, and if you fail to produce it, only two things can happen ...

1 - if the authorities are nice enough, they'll let the "DJ" stay till end of event or ..

2 - the authorities will ask the DJ to leave, and confiscate ALL equipments.

This was an advice from a friend of mine in the entertainment industry. He learnt things the hard way when his equipment was confiscated. His whole rice bowl was gone in an instant, even though it wasn't entirely his fault as he was unaware of the licensing. Not only that, the wedding event also turned sour for the family of the bride/groom.

So a point to note ya future brides and grooms who have yet to engage any DJ/entertainment services.

And as for me ....

I still have yet to decide on anything (I think it was mentioned in my previous post). We agreed not to talk about it until the time is right. I don't mind but it's always the external pressure from other people that makes me panic and frustrates me for no reason.

But if i DOOOO manage to cut costs here and there, i'll definitely be sharing it on my blog, instead of talking down on other brides spending sooo much for a one day event (when it's not even their money) hahaha ... In Shaa Allah, my wedding will all be paid for on my own because I've been insisting to pay everything for myself even though my parents offered to pay for catering. But it's okay... My parents are retired so they should be enjoying their fruits of labour and I shouldn't burden them further, even if they can afford it.

Till next time, toodles~

But I'm only human ...

My 4 years of bitter experience with the ex taught me so many things, but at the expense of me constantly being buried under heaps of insecurities of paranoia. I didn't ask to be this way, I didn't ask to have feelings. Somehow I feel like it's wrong for me to have feelings.

Like you said, you also had your fair share of your bitter past. Everyone has their own stories that they shudder to even recall. But everyone handles their problems differently. Just because you can handle your past with such calmness, with aid of prayers, doesn't mean the outcome will be the same for others.

I didn't ask or beg for you to understand me, because I don't understand myself at times either. I can safely say that I have let the past go, but is it wrong for me to feel paranoid and afraid that the past will repeat itself?

My issues with parents, they are ongoing, I can never change that fact, I can never change their mindset. I'm learning to deal with it, learning to just suck it all in and pretend nothing ever happened.

If you ask me how's my wedding preparations are going, I can tell you, nothing has been done or settled. I have less than 2 years to go till the big day, and now I can only just say, tentatively, I have less than 2 years left till I become someone's Mrs. That heart wrenching feeling i have in my heart when i now have to say the word "tentatively". Tentatively okay, not even "In Shaa Allah".

I didn't lost my mood when talking about the wedding. I lost my mood when I get thrown redundant questions, and then all the accusations. And then you ... you had to say you didn't want to talk about it. You make me feel like I'm a burden. I didn't stop you from focusing on school. I didn't stop you from spending your money.

I don't know what people want from me. I tried so hard to be the best for myself. I tried so hard not to be a burden to anyone financially. Because i learnt that money is the root of all evil. Guess I still haven't found someone who could really take me for who I am, inside and out. The voices in my head, the paranoia, the insecurities, the past that constantly haunts because I fear having to go through the same ordeal again.

You make me doubt myself.

I know you've your hands full with work, prospin, soon school, having to save up for the big day. I trust you enough that you know what you're doing but if it's wrong for me to clarify then just say so. Breaking off from the previous engagement was hard enough for me and I assume it was also hard for my parents as well as they had to ask for second opinions from other people about the situation I was in. I can say that they've pinned hopes on you to take care of me in the near future and I could understand if they're constantly asking about whether the dates have been confirmed.

I don't mind having to settle everything on my own but when it comes to wedding, it sure needs two hands to clap. I don't know who to open up to because I didn't want to blurt out about the problems we have. Here I am trying my very best to save your face even though we seldom have arguments but when we DO have one it's something major.

My facebook posts have been generic. Assholes would assume they're constantly about you but those close to me knows better. I'm not sure when you'll come across this post, but when you do, please don't flare up.

I have about 1 hour till end of shift and I'm not looking forward to knock off from work. I have such a sad life I know.

I'm just left speechless.